Dream Yourself a Perfect Ego

By: Nicola Mar

Nicola Mar is not your average fashion model. Besides for appearing in a plethora of both national and international publications and ad campaigns she also spends a bit of time behind the camera as a photographer and is currently working on a novel. Born in Austria, raised on the Island of St. Maarten and completing college in the USA, Nicola has a very interesting, international perspective on life.  Nicola brings insight and a fresh perspective to everything she does. Without further ado, Nicola Mar:

What are we really doing here on Earth? We work all day. We sleep at night. Many of us go through the same monotonous schedule every single day. We become unhappy. We wish for more money. We crave excitement and hate disappointment. We envy others but are not confident enough to change ourselves. Ultimately, we are all looking for love and approval by others, but many never find it. So what really is the point behind all of this activity we call life?

When you think of the word ‘ego,’ what does it mean to you? As a child and adolescent, I always heard phrases like “Check your ego” or “He’s egotistical”. These were phrases I hoped no one would ever say to me or about me. I found every way to deny that I, too, would occasionally think about my own actions and myself surely and confidently. As children, the only thing we want is to fit in and go unnoticed. We are often not confident enough to stand up to our own opinions. Therefore, we find every way to blend in with others. We shy away from those who are different and dread having someone call us out when we speak our mind. The word ‘ego’ was perceived, then, in a negative light, but, in actuality, the word ‘ego’ simply means, “the ‘I’ or self of any person.”

It is important that we all are aware of our selves. We need to become aware of not only our selves, but also our actions and our actions towards others. Without this awareness, we go through life unable to pursue our true purpose on earth. We keep trying to blend in, to fit in, to pursue something we think is safe and expected of us. We are unable to dream, which means, ultimately, that we are unable to grow, develop and learn. If you are not aware of your self, you will continue going through life believing that all your moods, beliefs, partners, relationships, and friends are completely random and out of your control. You will continue to feel that life is just one exhausting day after another. How can you possibly be aware of what your aspirations and dreams really are when you have no belief in your power to develop them?

The average person has about 75,000 thoughts a day. Many of these, though, go unnoticed, mostly because we are not paying attention to them. We are not listening to our inner self, or ego, and therefore, we end up ignoring everything our minds have come up for us to pursue. However, we do always notice our feelings. This is because every thought produces an emotion that affects our mood. Usually, when we have happy thoughts, we feel good- we feel positive. When we have bad thoughts, we feel sad. Our bad moods are the cause of our negative thinking. But, lucky you! You can change your moods once you become aware of your “self” and learn to channel or control our thinking.

Your “self” is not something that is bad or wrong. It is simply you. It’s your inner being that is there to help maneuver you through life. It is there to guide you through decisions and help you realize your great potential. Everyone is entitled to dream, and to dream big. Don’t be a victim of your bad thoughts.

Next time you are in a bad mood, ask yourself why. Retrace your thoughts and track down the reasons you are being negative. Change your mood into a positive one by visualizing what you want in life and make yourself believe that you can achieve it. Take risks. Don’t limit yourself to small goals you think you might be able to achieve. Don’t ever think of your life as just one big repetitive day. People are born and people die. People come into your life one day and leave the next.

Opportunity is right above your head, following you, waiting for you to realize it and believe in it so that it can be born. Realize your potential. You are not here on Earth to do something you are unhappy doing. We are here to gain wisdom and love, to grow and to protect each other. Becoming aware of your ‘self’ is half the battle won.

2 Responses to “Dream Yourself a Perfect Ego”

  1. Cathy says:

    Thank you for sharing Nicola. Very inspirational.

  2. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Menachem Luchins, Ego Friendly. Ego Friendly said: The first in our "Nicola Narrates" series, uber-model @Nicola_Mar gives us her insight into how to find your dreams. http://ow.ly/3dqJy [...]

Leave a Comment